To Please or Not to Please
by DeeAnne Riendeau
Last week you probably noticed that there was no Feel Good Friday newsletter.
We had no contributor and the truth is, I was swamped. I thought I might just write up something real quick but I just didn’t have the energy. I stressed about missing a week but then I came to some great realizations.
I asked myself “how important is it to get the newsletter out? Will anyone die as a result? Probably not. Would anyone be disappointed? Maybe. Would it matter a week from now when I send the next newsletter out? Unlikely.” In the end I determined that it was not worth the stress or forcing myself to do something which I had little capacity to do just to save face or ensure nobody was missing out. Adding to that was the idea that the quality of what I would’ve sent out probably wouldn’t have been there either.
Are you a people pleaser? A mother hen? Do you go out of your way constantly to ensure everyone around you is taken care of?
I know I am a people pleaser and I have been working on becoming more aware of how I take care of myself and in turn how I take care of those around me! People won’t love me less because I simply can’t do everything for everyone and I certainly cannot make everyone happy. The same goes for you!
In the last blog we talked about awareness and this is a prime example of stopping long enough to become the observer. The main goal is to try to look at the thoughts from a different perspective. We put so much pressure on ourselves to not let anyone else down that we in turn exhaust ourselves trying to make others happy. Guess what it’s not our job to make others happy!!!!! Isn’t that a relief? I mean here we all our conditioned to believe that we need to take care of everybody else first while sacrificing our own happiness and wellbeing. Doesn’t that seem a bit silly? After all , you have heard it before, happiness is an inside job. YOUR Happiness is YOUR responsibility not somebody else’s.
On an airplane they tell you to put your oxygen mask on first. Why? Because you cannot help anyone if you are unconscious! Are you trying so hard to please everyone else that you are depleted, exhausted and unhappy? It is time for you to stop doing that. I know it’s hard to do but start with the awareness of it and work from there. Before you know it, you will be taking care of your needs more often. Taking care of YOU first is NOT selfish. It allows you to ensure that your needs are met and your “cup is full” so that you can help others even more! Yes, that’s right, if you ensure you are taking care of yourself first then in turn you are actually able to be better for those around you.
Change occurs when you become more aware. So start becoming more aware about the things you are doing to please everyone else and see if you really our sacrificing your own happiness and well-being. Consider what it may look like if you did put yourself first and visualize the outcome. You may surprised that everyone ends up better off when you put yourself first???? Believe me when I say that we can please others more by pleasing ourselves first!
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